How Torturous Is Insomnia?The Night I Stopped Hoping for Sleep (And Found Help)

There’s a point where insomnia stops being “a phase” and becomes your life. For me, it was month 6. I’d stopped setting my alarm because I knew I wouldn’t sleep. I avoided social plans—who wants to hang out when you look like a zombie and can’t focus? I even feared bedtime, like it was a test I knew I’d fail.

One night, I lay in bed for 6 hours straight. No tossing, no turning—just staring, numb. I thought about calling a doctor, but the idea of sleeping pills scared me (I’d heard about the groggy mornings, the dependency). I felt hopeless: if I couldn’t even do something as basic as sleep, what could I do?

Then my mom sent me a package with jujube seeds and a handwritten note: “Try this porridge—grandma used it for her insomnia.” Skeptical, I boiled the seeds (they look like tiny brown beads) in water, strained them, then cooked millet and red dates in the liquid. It smelled like comfort, like home. I ate a small bowl an hour before bed, then pressed the Anmian point behind my ears (that soft spot between your ear bone and neck).

That night, I fell asleep in 40 minutes. Not instantly, but faster than I had in months. When I woke up, I didn’t feel like I’d been hit by a truck—I felt human.

Insomnia lies. It makes you think you’ll never sleep again, that you’re alone in this. But the truth is, your body just needs a little nudge to remember how to rest. For me, that nudge came from gentle TCM tricks—not magic, just small, consistent acts of self-care. If you’re lying awake right now, staring at your ceiling? You’re not broken. And help might be simpler than you think.